I have one child. I love her completely, she fills my life with fun and joy. She has made me a better person. I would never want to be without her………Do I want another child?
Why do people think it’s ok to ask this question?
Sometimes people ask if you are having a second child when you are carrying your first out of the maternity ward. Some people wait until your child gets to school age. Then they think the empty nest syndrome will kick in and you’ll need to fill your dull and empty life with another small being quickly, because God forbid you should want any time to yourself.
It irritates me immensely. Forget the fact that David took ten years to convince me to have a baby, and the fact we went through an awful round of unsuccessful IVF before we had Harry. I just don’t get why people expect mums to have more than one child.
If you have no children…good for you. You don’t have to, it’s your choice. The last thing you want are people badgering you about it. You may desperately want a child, and are going through the very painful process of trying to no avail…..people don’t think about that with their throw away ‘no kids yet?’ comment.
You can be perfectly happy without children. Your womb will not ache when you see a baby in its pram. You may think all the drool and nappies and sleepless nights aren’t for you…That’s fine. Enjoy your disposable income and line free face my friends. Ignore those who whisper ‘it’s such a shame’ behind your back.
Every week I take Harriet to play and the cheery girl behind the counter says ‘still just the one then?’ I chortle politely, but now after a good six months of the question, I want to slap her. ‘Yes lady, just the one forever. I could give you the arduous back story behind this child but I’m sure that’s not what you made the glib comment for’.
Some people may be happy to have seventeen children. Good for them. If you choose to have many children so be it. If you choose to have none, good for you….enjoy your nice holidays in posh hotels.
It’s no one’s choice or business but your own.
Sometimes people will casually comment to my friend ‘Ooo three boys, are you trying for a girl?’ Like the last boy must’ve been a massive disappointment. If I were her I’d comment back ‘Yes. Actually we are just going to throw little Freddie in the sea as we only have room for three children and I was crushed when I saw a third penis’.
I know a lot of people think children lose out when they don’t have a sibling. That maybe I should do it for Harriet. Well, I’m an only child and I ruddy loved it! Am I a bit spoilt because I was an only child…..Well ….. yes but hey ho!
Children take up so much time and love and energy …oh and money. If you feel you have enough for a tribe, go ahead and be my guest.